We have travelled challenging roads in the last few months, from one home-sitting to another … but the most difficult was the bumpy, potholed, gravel road of emotional upheaval.
This post has taken me longer to publish, as I’ve mulled over whether to put us ‘out there’, vulnerable and open to criticism. We profess to be Jesus followers. Mature Christians. We aren’t supposed to falter, suffer depression, fight, or panic. This is often what the ‘churched folk’ think, and some will even go as far as telling you so, in no uncertain terms. Therefore, many believers hide their struggles because it won’t ‘look good’. It is my hope that, should you reach a point where you can't stand on your own, this post will offer some encouragement.
At the start of this blog, I committed to not only update friends and relatives, but to truthfully record the good, the bad, the fails, the victories,
and the challenges. For us, mostly, to look back upon in times to come. To be honest, I struggle to think that anyone would want
to read these writings. However, I have had many tell me that they have been
encouraged and/or challenged by previous posts. Therefore, I think it is only fair
to continue to be transparent. So, dear reader, if you want the ‘clothesline’
of reality, read on. Alternatively, scroll down to the ‘Maleny’ heading if you prefer
a (hopefully) entertaining, home-sitting update.
When you think you will stand ...
When AJ’s contract ended suddenly in October, we thought our faith would hold us up – until we found out that we didn’t have the faith we imagined. Because, if you have true faith, you won’t fear. You will have peace that passes all understanding. Anxiety won’t be your daily visitor. Nervousness will leave you be. Comfort will be your companion as you trust in your all-encompassing, all-powerful Father because you KNOW His nature and it is unchanging. He is faithful. He will provide.
“I am the LORD, and I do not change. Mal 3 v 6.
While blogging in January, about our resolve to wait on God
for as long as it takes (ALAIT) – I had no idea how tough the realisation
of the reality of our circumstances would prove to be. Even though He
was constantly telling us that He would take care of us – “do not fear, do not
be alarmed, do not be dismayed, I will be with you.” (Isaiah 41 v 10). Again and
again, we received the same promise from different verses, from devotionals, from sermons and from encouraging friends. Yet, the gnawing feeling of pure anxiety
was never far off.
AJ had reached out to a few local contacts – no response. We explored some other ideas and suggestions from friends. But the rules and requirements for working in Australia don’t make things straightforward. Everywhere we turned was a roadblock.
Breaking point
When I say breaking point, I mean it literally. Anxiety-ridden,
we were at each other’s throats daily, to such an extent that we considered
separation. Sobbing before the Lord individually, He supplied grace and mercy.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matt 11 v 28
Rest? Rest! In extreme turmoil, I questioned what Jesus meant with the word 'rest'. I tuned in to a Christian radio station. The discussion happened to be on strategies to cope with attacks from the enemy. The speaker was saying, 'First, call for prayer!’. Compelled to jump into action and without divulging details, I contacted two people I can turn to when under spiritual attack. Honestly, within 24 hours, AJ and I were able to calmly discuss our struggles. Able to look from the outside in, our eyes were opened to all our natural ugliness released by personal insecurity and guilt.
Introspection is never easy – we avoid it, don’t we, because we never like what we see, right?
On a personal level, I once more had to face the fact that my A-blood personality was totally rattled when my apparent security was shaken. My heart was saying God will make a way, but my head was planning in 100 directions, without fail. It was driving me mad. My nemesis whispered loudly, “DO something, NOW! God will bless it! You’re His child, after all.” Yet, every which way I turned I hit a roadblock. Emotionally a mess, I struggled to think. Unable, too, to simultaneously cope with what AJ was going through – the effect of an unceremonious ending of a career, without warning, at a particularly difficult stage of our Australian immigration journey. Initially, we had prepared ourselves for the emotional stages that would follow. But as they arrived in waves, the depth and the turbulence was too much. We caved, too emotional to reason clearly and objectively. Anger, often rage, guilt, frustration, a sense of failure, a sense of loss, and panic, engulfed us. By the end of January, AJ had resolved to WAIT for what God was going to do … hadn’t He always, always, miraculously provided a pathway for him to follow?! He would do so again! I, in turn, couldn’t grasp his inaction. Trying to intensify my efforts, I met with more frustration and a nagging sense that I was leaning in a direction that was not God’s will.
I lie in the dust; revive me by your word.
I told you my plans, and you answered. Now teach me your decrees.
Help me understand the meaning of your commandments, and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.
I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word.
Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions. I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your regulations. I cling to your laws. LORD, don’t let me be put to shame! I will pursue your commands, for you expand my understanding.
Psalm 119 v 25-32.
Thankfully, home-sitting commitments forced us to put one
foot in front of the other daily, as we cared for other people’s homes and
animals. Nervousness and anxiety continued to nip at our heels and gnaw at our gut.
But then we found that every time we read the Word, it brought perspective and
comfort. Every. Time.
Our crutch
Teach me your decrees, O LORD; I will keep them to the end.
Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart. Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. Give me an eagerness for your laws rather than a love for money! Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word.
Psalm 119 v 33-37
Unbelievers have said to us, ‘Ah-ha, a fairy tale, a false crutch!’
Today, we testify again: Jesus Christ is no fairy tale! And His
Gospel is a sure and needful crutch! On our own we would not be here
today, standing together. Without Him, His Word, and the ministering of His
Holy Spirit, we would not be functioning. Slowly, lovingly, He pointed out the areas
that needed correction. We had work to do – within. We resolved again to work
alongside each other, and with our Father’s help, we would restore what was
broken.
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Rom 5, v 3-5.
The pruning, disciplining, correcting, and teaching is
ongoing. By the time we arrived in Maleny, we felt we had arrived at the point
of having that peace that passes all understanding (Phil 4 v 6, 7). We
looked forward to three weeks in Maleny as a fresh start on this journey of waiting
on the Lord for direction. We began to read the book of James. I urge you to
read it too, as times are hard for us all, are they not? But God … He’s always
on the advance, moving forward. In the words of Pastor Charles Stanley, “[God
is] not taken by surprise, [he is] all-knowing; nothing that touches our lives
goes unnoticed by Him. He’s aware of every past, present and future event…”. And
“When we lift our eyes to Him in faith, He gives us exactly what we need to
stay on the right course. God’s grace and mercy are greater than any problem we’ll
ever face.” (From, Stuck in Reverse, devotional from In Touch Ministries.)
“But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.” James 1, v 6-8.
Are we moving forward? It doesn’t always feel that way. But we have experienced positive, healing change within … and that, dear friends, is moving forward. We pray for yet more faith, as we endeavour to hear that ‘still small voice’. We look forward to receiving definitive direction from God. In October I said that God will get the glory from this circumstance we are in. Together, we now repeat it … although we have NO idea how things will pan out.
Maleny
Maleny is situated within the Sunshine Coast hinterland among beautiful rolling hills, creeks and rainforests. Ten minutes south-east of the town is Bald Knob, where the farm is situated, high up on the ‘knob’ – green, lush and very muddy after much rain.
 |
| Taken on day 1, when we still had sun. |
AJ once found a leech on his leg walking 50 m between the house and the van. Approaching the location of the farm on day 1, climbing a steep hill, towing 3 tons, with a queue of vehicles behind us, we began slowing down more and more, despite AJ having his foot flat on the accelerator. We held our breath hoping we would actually make it to the turnoff, so steep was the climb. Suddenly it was there, and we were able to turn onto a side road that was level. Phew! That was frightening! The view was of no consequence, until we saw it again, two days later. 😅
Three days into our stay, we became ill. The rains arrived at almost the same time and the temperature dropped. It rained day in and day out. It was mud and more mud. We had been thoroughly cautioned on day one, to keep muddy shoes off the sandstone paving! Well, there was no hope of that! Everything was damp, even the washing wouldn’t dry. I had been asked to stay on top of any mould that might start growing on the ceiling or walls. I gave up!
Our day began at 5 AM letting the dogs out of their night
cages beneath the house, walking them, and then feeding them and the orphaned calf.
It finished at 9:30 PM when we put the dogs in their cages, after keeping them
company inside the house until bedtime. We would retire, totally spent, to
the caravan each night (it was cosier and warmer there). Sick and miserable, we
were thankful that we could just be in one place and not have to hitch and unhitch
and find places to camp. We were still coughing and spluttering when we left
Maleny, three weeks later.
While there, we walked through countless spider webs, were stung by midges numerous times, fought off horse flies (who attack kamakazi-like with a horrible sting!), slipped and slurried (yes, I’ve turned it into a verb 😅) our way along walks with the dogs, through mud and sodden cow poo.
We dodged rain showers to get tasks done. One downpour caught me by surprise at the bottom of the steep hill that was a mandatory part of the walk with the dogs, and I was soaked through to my undergarments within 2 minutes. AJ attempted a (pointless) rescue with an umbrella, finding me drenched through and through. Whenever the heavens opened, they opened like a veritable shower. There was never a mild drizzle … just days of random downpours. The first day of rain alone measured almost 200 mm within 9 hours.
The hand-reared calf (‘poddy’ in Australian lingo), Thor 😂, was cheeky as they can get and found great satisfaction by scratching his head on the hitching point of the van. This would set off the hitch alarm, usually at 4 AM as he began his wait for his breakfast. Or he would scratch his rump on the rear bumper bar, shaking the van on its struts. He stood guard at the gate at mealtimes waiting to ambush us in his effort to get at his bowl of pellets. We were forced to devise an approach from behind – those hooves would seriously damage a foot. 😅
He was continually soaking wet and seemed to develop a cough, poor thing. Or perhaps it was when he vacuumed up his pellets too fast. I did feel sorry for him though. He thought he was a dog and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t cross the cattle guard at the gate to hang around the house too. Much to my horror, he tried a few times to step out onto it, and then quickly went into reverse. I had imaginings of dealing with a calf with a broken leg.
The dogs were a delight and a comfort to us. They gave us peals of laughter at times. One night, as we sat reading and listening to our favourite radio station, a soprano began singing some operetta song and suddenly it was mayhem – the dogs joined in at the top of their voices. Waa-OOOOOOOO! Hooooooo! Wa-Wa-Wa-HOOOOOOOOOOOO! Totally in sync! We laughed until the tears ran.
The beautiful, warm kitchen with its lovely view also helped make our stay pleasant. One of my tasks was to keep the owner’s sourdough starter alive. ‘No one has managed to kill it’, he smiled. ‘It’s easy.’ Wild imaginings flew through my head again, of this woman who studied Home Economics, being the only one who killed the sourdough starter. 😫😄 Needless to say, I scoured YouTube for hours to educate myself once again on the process. Managing to scoop some for myself, I now also have a starter that needs looking after, and I’m thrilled. There began my sourdough journey – sourdough bread, sourdough pancakes, sourdough pizza, and sourdough crackers. So fun. The freshly baked bread was a bonus!
On the road again
We left Maleny with joy to get away from the midges, horse
flies, damp, mist, rain and mud. Making our way down the mountain with the van
was epic.
We drove south and stopped to visit with friends in
Toogoolawah – the town where we went to church while we were in Esk for three
months last year. It was so good to see everyone. We stayed one night on our friends’
paddock, and another in the free camp at Toogoolawah. Familiar territory is
always a comfort. After that, we travelled on to Gatton and stayed in a free
camp there. We had lovely views over the wheat fields across Lockyer Creek. There
were many vans in the designated area.
Then we moved on to a free camp along the Heifer Creek, halfway to our next venue. To get there, we drove along incredibly narrow roads, twisting and turning, and passed through the Heifer Creek cutting – a little piece of road history, excavated by the Theiss brothers early in 1906, I think, with custom-made Theiss tools.
Free camping is fun, but you must take what you get and make the most of it. But the Heifer Creek camp was a hit!
There were only 3 vans in, and we had a glorious spot for the night. It reminded us of our visits to Klein Kariba, near Warmbad (oops, I should say Bela-Bela). One of our van’s struts broke as we were setting up, and AJ had to go into quick repair mode, engineering a fix right there, clever man! Thank goodness for his tools that are such a part of our weight allocation.
We had fun trying to identify all the bird sounds. The Eastern Whip Bird was champion! He sat in a tree right above us and whipped and whipped, and we couldn’t get enough. 😊 Did we ever see him? No! Elusive creature. 😊 We were sad to leave the next morning.
Allora
A 40-minute drive along further narrow roads (praying we
wouldn’t meet a cattle truck from the front or at a tight hairpin bend) brought
us to Allora, the nearest town to Mount Marshall. It is an enchanting, little
country town. We stopped for 2 days at the showground's camping area to catch
up on washing and to wait for the right time to ‘book in’ here at the house. We
explored Allora, with its old colonial feel. Heritage-listed places are dotted
all around town.
We counted at least 3 hotels, a few churches, and all the necessary stores on its main street. The residential gardens are almost all meticulous. There are large grain silos in town. It was fascinating to see where the rail tracks had once run through town. Today, as they say, without trucks, Australia stops. Heavy vehicles come and go to and from the silos, but no one minds, as grain is the heartbeat of the region.
There is a golf course in town, with the sports club a
popular venue. We stopped by the heritage-listed memorial park, to view one of
two monuments in Queensland dedicated to the Boer war, and honouring
Australians who fought and fell there. Sad for us as South Africans, to know
that people even from this remote area so far away, were called, or
volunteered, to fight for queen and country on the plains and hillsides of
South Africa. 😣
The wind blew us away on the day we were due to leave,
gusting at 40 km/hr. The temp dropped by 10 degrees. We were forced to roll in
the caravan awning at 4 AM (without waking the neighbours), as it was being whipped
and was shaking the van just like the poddy calf. A rude awakening before
coffee! 😆
Later we found the neighbours were all awake too, as the wind was that fierce.
Mt Marshall
Arriving in the Mt Marshall region, we stayed in the van for
one night, as the homeowners planned to leave the next day. As they turned the corner and waved goodbye, we
moved in! We have learned to do that
effectively and unceremoniously, as quickly as possible, so that we can get on
with living. 😅
(We often joke, that if they were to hit a snag and say they need to return, we
would have to say, ummm, can you give us a few hours to move out again please?!
😆).
We love it here… wide open spaces. There is one border
collie dog to take care of and to walk early mornings, which is right down my
alley. AJ is battling an ongoing knee injury, so his walks are somewhat
curtailed. Country roads and open spaces. We love it. A 360-degree view out of
wide windows, as far as the eye can see are pastures and wheat fields. For once
we have a strong internet connection and we expect to be able to do a lot of planned
tasks as we research a way forward.
We look forward to exploring the town of Warwick soon and other nearby places of interest.
At this point, we’d like to wish you all a blessed Easter,
as we remember Christ’s ultimate act of love, as He willingly gave His life for
us on that cruel cross. He was the final sacrificial ‘lamb’, to take away our
sins. No other event in History has had such an impact on the world … no other event
has provided so much hope.
Thanks for stopping by.
As always, we appreciate you, your support, and your prayers.
